Sort It Out September - Authentic Faith: Living With A Vexed Soul

Last post, I told you that I am a Christian Universalist. 

My definition of this is believing that any path can lead to Jesus but the only way to the Father is through the Son.

That said, I need to build from here. 

I have to be delicate this post, as I know that people around the world are in grief, and we as a world are in a time of great uncertainty. 

I'm choosing not to comment on the passing of Queen Elizabeth, other then to say I'm not commenting on it but I am trying to write with the greatest of delicacy and respect today. 

Let's just say I know who my audience are, and I don't believe my opinions or comments on recent events will bring anything enlightening. 

If you haven't got anything worth saying then just don't.

I live by that. 

At present, I'm treating my blog more like a ministry than a business, and I'm in one of those moments where what makes sense for ministry would not make sense for business. 

This is the moment we cross over, back to our roots, 

Daisy Change is a ministry blog. 

Glory To God. 

I have other other projects for profit, but given the nature of the people that read my work, the most respectful thing is to let this content be free, my gift to you. 

Can you see the theme of respect that I have been bringing back into my work lately?

I truly believe that being respectful the way one should, is a lost art, and so I'm going to do my best to share how to be respectful regardless of what is happening in the world or indeed your personal world. 

Okay, ground work laid, let's get on with the meat of the post.

Sometimes the best way to support someone going through a hard time is just to put words on what they may be feeling.

Poetry is great for this. 

I hope this poem helps, then directly after it I'll say a few things about the vexed soul to offer a little hope. 

 The Vexed Soul

Secrets are heavy on mind mind, 

I see clearly, but I feel so blind. 

Grief has captured my heart, I don't feel whole.

There's something so heavy within me, I have a vexed soul. 

Battling between light dark, and dark light,

Even breathing right now feels like  a fight! 

I wish tears would stream down my face,

But this isn't the time, nor the place. 

Breaking, but I thought I was already broken.

Aching, my soul bleeds open. 

I don't have the words to fully describe what I feel.

I only hope, in time, with God's help I will heal. 

- Hayley Esther September 13th 2022

Not having the words to speak is the worst feeling in the world.

When our pain surpasses are ability to articulate how we feel, the only thing we can do is be in  the moment. 

It may not be a moment we want to be in but every moment in life has lessons for us if we look and listen, and sometimes the lesson is to simply just be still.

Take it all in. 

Despite how you feel now, it won't be like this forever.