The Running Shoes - Suicide, Depressio & Fighting To Win!

Trigger Warning - Low mood, depression, pain, suicide, past hurts, written about with the intent of encouragement 

Disclaimer - As always I still recommend seeking professional advice as to the first course of action if you are feeling low or depressed. All advice given is from experience only.

Lambi Says - Don't let depression or anxiety beat you up you got this, fight to win!

If you have read my last few posts you will know that as of late I have been suffering from depression. 

Yet again Jet and his friends had me in a cage that was locked from the inside. (Jet is the name I give to depression because when it shows up for me it is usually jet black)

Sometimes life throws things at us that we really don't expect. When this happens we have to decide if we are going to retreat within ourselves or get out there and serve others. 

It can be the hardest thing to push yourself to think of others when you're feeling really low, but it's the very thing we need to do in such times. I have learned some other lessons about Jet and his friends that I want to share with you.

1. Jet's best friend is a doubt. 

Depression and doubt go hand in hand and together with fear, they tie you up and paralyze you, so they can throw more rubbish at you and make you think you are unable to fight back.

2. Depression lies. 

When depression hits, the voices start. Those voices that say you're worthless or that life isn't worth living, it's pretty common knowledge that depression can lead to bouts of feeling suicidal, but what's lesser known is depression lies to us in other ways too.

Depression can twist things in your mind, nothing is ever what it seems with depression, because you have a black veil over your eyes and unable to see clearly. 

I know from experience, I have done some pretty stupid things when listening to the voice of Jet and his friends. We can't blame all our stupid decisions on depression, but you best believe that depression can contribute to making things worse if you don't take care over what you say and do.

3. Depression loves drama.

It's not uncommon to think that things are far worse than they actually are, just because you are depressed, but also it's not uncommon to fill in blanks with things that are not really there. There is a tendency to overthink things when you're depressed, purely because you suddenly have the time to do so because your mind is not actively thinking about other things.

4. Life doesn't care that you did something because you were depressed, you will have to deal with the consequences anyway because that's just a part of life.

 It can be painful, especially if you know that depression was the reason actions such as rejecting people, lashing out or just disappearing from the world for a while actually happened and you now have to deal with the consequences of something you did when you were not feeling yourself.

5. Depression is selfish.

It seems to be concerned with your pain but really it seeks only to give you more of the same. I know this one may get a little bit of lash back and that's fine. I understand that depression can be a chemical/hormonal issue, but it doesn't change the fact that if you let it, depression will tell you what to do.

These are 5 lessons I've learnt from my last visit from Jet.

 I'm sharing them because although many people experience different things even when battling the same issues, at least one of those lines I've just written may make you think of something in your own life.

I'm trying to make a point here, we can justify it and rationalize it all we like, don't get me wrong I am on the side of those fighting to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

I know the pain of depression all too well, but the fact is, depression doesn't care about us, and its high time we fight back!

You see guys, there is hope. When you're depressed you don't think there is, but as I have stated before, sometimes hope is hidden. 

We can't see the beauty of a brand new day when we are too busy hiding under the sheets just wanting to give up on everything. 

Have you noticed that covering your head, be it by a blanket, your hands or something else, is the go-to position when you feel really low?

Depression loves the dark.

 Don't feed it.

Depression loves you to suffer. 

So take care of yourself.

Depression seeks to take you down.

 So take it down first. 

Fight to win!! 

You can, you think that you're too weak, but you are much stronger than you think and that pain you feel right now, is only a reminder that you are alive, you can make it.

Get up, it's time to start running again.

How?

The number one way to battle depression is to make sure you have the right tools for the job.

Get armed!
 Knowledge is power, but only if you apply it. 

Get the right tools for the job. 

Invest in yourself.

Know your enemy so you can work out how best to fight and get the right armour for the job because the battle is fierce!

• This includes The right support - family, friends, medical professionals etc..
• The right care tools - for your body, soul and spirit.
• The right lifestyle for you, it's really important to be true to yourself and to allow your creativity, gifts and talents to be released into this world.

To be true to yourself, you must first find yourself.

The journey of self-discovery may take you to some strange places but stick with it because after finding God, finding yourself is the most precious discovery you can ever make and it will help you fight to win when it comes to depression.

Chase fulfilment, but don't forget to let yourself be happy too. 

Make peace with your past, because if you leave anything buried alive it will stink and like a zombie, come chasing you in your present life ready to kill you and taking you kicking and screaming back to the painful places.


I don't know who I am writing this too right now, but don't give up we need you!

You were born to solve a problem only YOU can solve.

You were born with a purpose that goes far beyond this life, you can and will leave a legacy, but if you give up today...then the world loses out and the pain will not end.

Beautiful girl, the sun always shines brightest after the storm. 

Always. 

The Son always shines brightest after the storm.

Dude, you got this.

Stand firm, get those running shoes on and prepare for battle.

I don't know if Jet is ever going to get the message, the harder he and his dark company fight me, the harder I will fight back. The more encouragement, hope and love I will release into this world because I will not let Jet beat me!!

I wonder if maybe that's why life keeps throwing me this battle over and over again, but no matter the reason, I have resolved to fight to win, it was not an easy decision and fighting is part of the deal in the battle. 

Some days I really don't feel like it, and it is in those moments I must throw myself again on my Savior and allow my friends to help me keep my head above water. I want my life to be a living example that there is always hope.

Even if you suffer from depression, you can still have a fairly normal life ( whatever normal is) depression doesn't have to dictate how you treat other people, your life choices or your ability to work and chase your dreams. 



Yes I know it's hard sometimes , but that's why they call it a battle and here's a little secret about life, it's hard sometimes, fighting is a part of our makeup, we are designed to stand, we are designed to run and we are designed to win, the question is, are you ready to put away the excuses and get on with the race?  

A few days ago I didn't want to be here, Jet had me in a headlock, but now I am so grateful for all the amazing people I learned my battle strategy for Jets attacks because he didn't win. I'm still breathing and life goes on.

I know this thoughts day post is a little late, but like I said at the beginning iv been going through a horrible depression recently and honestly, it nearly took me out....nearly.

I am back now though, stronger and more ready to fight than ever. 

Jet doesn't get to win in my life, not now not ever, but what about you?

Aren't you tired of being pushed around by depression?

Then stand up dear friend, an army is forming to take down Jet and all his evil devices, and if no one else wants the job, I'm happy to be the general. 

Are you in?

If you have any thoughts or comments feel free to get in touch, but for now, I think that's about it. 

I'm more than happy to pray for you if you send me your prayer request or to just listen if that is what you need.

Take care all, no seriously please take care!

Love Hayley

xXx

Read More →

Move From Moving On To Moving Forward

Moving on and moving forward,

 they are the same thing, right?

Well actually no.

Once you have chosen to see life as seasonal and started chasing fulfilment rather than happiness, the next step toward success is moving on from moving on.

Let me explain.

---

Moving on gives the impression you’ve buried the past and now you're going to build something new on its grave and pretend it never happened. Moving forward is acknowledging the past, for what it is , learning what you can, and then deciding that it doesn’t define you and your still going to move forward with your dreams and in life because nothing can hold you back. You won’t give anything permission to do so. Good on you!

---

You can move on from things and still not be over it, but hiding from your feelings is not going to help you. If you bury half-open wounds then poison will fester beneath your scars. You gotta make sure that you’re not running from your yourself. Trust me it’s exhausting and only leads to making laps around the same old mountains over and over again and those scars won’t fully heal. If you build on the grave of a wound such as this,then zombies from the past may grab your heels and pull you down. 

---

I know it can be hard to face certain things that lurk back there, but you don’t have to do it alone and in the long run, dealing with and owning your stuff will be good for you. Even if you decide that what lurks back there is gone now or too painful and you're not going to give it much thought beyond forgiving all that need it, including yourself, giving it to a higher power and being more aware of the good things in your life and letting time do its work. It’s still important to make the decision and at least let yourself know what you have decided. If you feel the need to reach out to someone, then do it. There is no shame in asking for help, it’s actually really brave and a very loving thing to do for yourself.

Once you have done this, you will be ready to move forward in life and that is awesome on so many levels!

So then let’s get you on to another level with a plan!

Today you get a little bit of homework

Firstly, have a look in your heart and see that you have not buried your past alive, no one wants to get chased by zombies! 

Secondly, write down your dreams, even if they seem completely unrealistically possible. 

Write them down anyway or better yet, why not make a vision board? If you can visually see the goals you're shooting for, then it gives you motivation to actually do the work to get there.Pinterest is perfect for this.

If you're into the idea of self help, then here's a couple of really cool bits and pieces that may also help you move forward, not just move on from where you are right now. I can not recommend the first highly enough! Game changer!

The other two are just useful and nice to have, and it doesn't help that they are super cute! With the third one, those stickers are so adorable, I have so many and use mine all the time, but the idea is that happy planner stickers is what I recommending, they help me stay motivated and I am sure they can help you get stuff done too! Quick reminder the below are affiliate links, I may make a small commission with no extra cost to you if you decide to buy any of the things I recommend. 

The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day
(Again,can not recommend highly enough)

Motivational Gallon Water Bottle  - especially good for helping you to keep on track with your fitness goals.

Paper House Planner, Journal, Dairy, Notebook Assorted Colours - highly recommend journal stickers in general, doesn't have to be these ones but these are adorable and so sweet!


That's about it today.

Got a complaint or a comment? Let me know below and let's all together grow! 

Read More →

Move From Happiness To Fulfillment

People that chase happiness will never be happy for very long because it's more about the chase than the object in question.

Happiness is an emotion, it comes and goes because life is up and down. 

Chasing happiness usually leads to unhealthy people with dead dreams and more debt then they know what to do with!

I am not suggesting that the desire to be happy or even the pursuit of happiness is wrong .

What I am against is, the idea that life is all about happiness, that we should be aiming for it in every area of our lives and if we don't somehow that makes us a failure and if we can't hold on to happiness, well then that is even worse!

Happiness is an emotion, it is fleeting, I like to think of it like a butterfly, here one moment, gone the next.

 

---

Chasing happiness will never bring fulfilment, it will lead to frustration. 

You would be much better of chasing fulfilment. It is possible to be  fulfilled but not happy. Chasing fulfilment requires work, sweat, and tears but it is an attainable goal that it is possible to hold on to, unlike happiness. 

Even if you are fulfilled in a job or relationship, you are still going to get your down days, but that deep knowing that what you are chasing is right for you, regardless of how you feel right now, will help you to stick it through the rough patches and make it to the mountaintop. 

Yes life still throws stuff at us, but from personal experience I have learned that I am happy a lot more of the time by living this way because I am doing the things I love and I have no doubt if you started to chase fulfilment too, you would be happy a lot more by default too.

Chasing Happiness is a rabbit hole, it can be a seemingly bottomless pit. Working on things that will fulfill you is like building a house on strong foundations. It may take a while and require more of you but in the long run, it's far more worth it.

Read More →

How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.

1. You Should Die To Perfectionism

This may seem like a obvious one, but honey you are not perfect, and trying to be is only going to frustrate you and deplete your energy. That energy can be spent better else where, and the fact is that irregardless of how close you get to the mark, you will never, ever be 100% pure in every sense of the word. For starters, you can't control the fact you have breathed air that is polluted at some point in your life, not to mention all of the icky feelings you have experienced over time. Emotion is a good thing, and keeping it disciplined is important, this is true, but the fact is you won't succeed with this 100% of the time. For your own sake, let your hair down and just be who you are, not who you are trying to be.

2. You Should Die To People Pleasing

This follows on from the last point and I know it's a hard reality to accept but we can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Diversity means compromise, and part of that comprise means you have a right to your own mind and voice irregardless of what you are about. You absolutely should be respectful, but if you feel strongly about something you have the right to back up your beliefs with words, and actions...and what's more, most of the time you should because evil only increases when good people do nothing.

3. You Should Die To Happiness

Happiness is fleeting, it is a feeling,but fulfillment goes deeper than that. You won't be happy every second of the day even if you are fulfilled, but you will be happier a lot more of the time, just by consequence of being true to you who you are, and building towards a life build on firm foundations. Building life on any feeling is not stable, but let me remind you at this point, joy is not a feeling.

4. Die To Legalism & Come Alive To Peace

My definition of legalism is anything that seeks to create unrealistic standards with rules and regulations that go beyond the basics of what is needed to maintain the illusion of fairness. This can be in organised religion, but sometimes its not. 

Apply this to your belief structure.

Results may be varied.

Point still stands for those of you I have aimed to communicate this point with. I know my niche on this point, but forget the points and geometric shapes, they are just as restrictive, I'm sticking to flowers!

Life is far more peaceful that way!

5. Die To Grace & Wake Up To Mercy

On the flip side, where are my white nights at?

Let me just make this crystal clear for you, even if your intentions  are the best in the world, in the end, grace won't save you, mercy will. Seek the one who offers mercy and you will find the abundance of security and life they promised you. Those who trade freedom for security wind up with neither, this is a fact, but it is also true those that rely on hyper gracious freedoms will one day wake up to find they were just as trapped as those they mocked for being trapped in legalism.

For us humans, extremes are rarely good. Mercy is for sure the way to go.

I feel like I have pushed about as far as is reasonable in this post and so I am gonna leave it there for now. Expect part two later this week.

Until then,  catch us over on social media.

At the moment, Pintrest is a massive part of our every day life, but we are also on Instagram, Facebook. DevientArt  and Twitter. 

Hopefully we will see you over on one of those.

Read More →