Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

The Running Shoes - Suicide, Depressio & Fighting To Win!

Posted by Hayley Esther on Sunday, February 11, 2024
Trigger Warning - Low mood, depression, pain, suicide, past hurts, written about with the intent of encouragement 

Disclaimer - As always I still recommend seeking professional advice as to the first course of action if you are feeling low or depressed. All advice given is from experience only.


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Lambi Says - Don't let depression or anxiety beat you up you got this, fight to win!


If you have read my last few posts you will know that as of late I have been suffering from depression. 

Yet again Jet and his friends had me in a cage that was locked from the inside. (Jet is the name I give to depression because when it shows up for me it is usually jet black)

Sometimes life throws things at us that we really don't expect. When this happens we have to decide if we are going to retreat within ourselves or get out there and serve others. 

It can be the hardest thing to push yourself to think of others when you're feeling really low, but it's the very thing we need to do in such times. I have learned some other lessons about Jet and his friends that I want to share with you.

1. Jet's best friend is a doubt. 

Depression and doubt go hand in hand and together with fear, they tie you up and paralyze you, so they can throw more rubbish at you and make you think you are unable to fight back.

2. Depression lies. 

When depression hits, the voices start. Those voices that say you're worthless or that life isn't worth living, it's pretty common knowledge that depression can lead to bouts of feeling suicidal, but what's lesser known is depression lies to us in other ways too.

Depression can twist things in your mind, nothing is ever what it seems with depression, because you have a black veil over your eyes and unable to see clearly. 

I know from experience, I have done some pretty stupid things when listening to the voice of Jet and his friends. We can't blame all our stupid decisions on depression, but you best believe that depression can contribute to making things worse if you don't take care over what you say and do.

3. Depression loves drama.

It's not uncommon to think that things are far worse than they actually are, just because you are depressed, but also it's not uncommon to fill in blanks with things that are not really there. There is a tendency to overthink things when you're depressed, purely because you suddenly have the time to do so because your mind is not actively thinking about other things.

4. Life doesn't care that you did something because you were depressed, you will have to deal with the consequences anyway because that's just a part of life.

 It can be painful, especially if you know that depression was the reason actions such as rejecting people, lashing out or just disappearing from the world for a while actually happened and you now have to deal with the consequences of something you did when you were not feeling yourself.

5. Depression is selfish.

It seems to be concerned with your pain but really it seeks only to give you more of the same. I know this one may get a little bit of lash back and that's fine. I understand that depression can be a chemical/hormonal issue, but it doesn't change the fact that if you let it, depression will tell you what to do.

These are 5 lessons I've learnt from my last visit from Jet.

 I'm sharing them because although many people experience different things even when battling the same issues, at least one of those lines I've just written may make you think of something in your own life.

I'm trying to make a point here, we can justify it and rationalize it all we like, don't get me wrong I am on the side of those fighting to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

I know the pain of depression all too well, but the fact is, depression doesn't care about us, and its high time we fight back!

You see guys, there is hope. When you're depressed you don't think there is, but as I have stated before, sometimes hope is hidden. 

We can't see the beauty of a brand new day when we are too busy hiding under the sheets just wanting to give up on everything. 

Have you noticed that covering your head, be it by a blanket, your hands or something else, is the go-to position when you feel really low?


Depression loves the dark.

 Don't feed it.


Depression loves you to suffer. 

So take care of yourself.



Depression seeks to take you down.

 So take it down first. 


Fight to win!! 

You can, you think that you're too weak, but you are much stronger than you think and that pain you feel right now, is only a reminder that you are alive, you can make it.

Get up, it's time to start running again.

How?

The number one way to battle depression is to make sure you have the right tools for the job.

Get armed!
 Knowledge is power, but only if you apply it. 


Get the right tools for the job. 

Invest in yourself.

Know your enemy so you can work out how best to fight and get the right armour for the job because the battle is fierce!

  • This includes The right support - family, friends, medical professionals etc..
  • The right care tools - for your body, soul and spirit.
  • The right lifestyle for you, it's really important to be true to yourself and to allow your creativity, gifts and talents to be released into this world.
To be true to yourself, you must first find yourself.


The journey of self-discovery may take you to some strange places but stick with it because after finding God, finding yourself is the most precious discovery you can ever make and it will help you fight to win when it comes to depression.

Chase fulfilment, but don't forget to let yourself be happy too. 

Make peace with your past, because if you leave anything buried alive it will stink and like a zombie, come chasing you in your present life ready to kill you and taking you kicking and screaming back to the painful places.


I don't know who I am writing this too right now, but don't give up we need you!

You were born to solve a problem only YOU can solve.



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You were born with a purpose that goes far beyond this life, you can and will leave a legacy, but if you give up today...then the world loses out and the pain will not end.

Beautiful girl, the sun always shines brightest after the storm. 

Always. 
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The Son always shines brightest after the storm.

Dude, you got this.

Stand firm, get those running shoes on and prepare for battle.


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I don't know if Jet is ever going to get the message, the harder he and his dark company fight me, the harder I will fight back. The more encouragement, hope and love I will release into this world because I will not let Jet beat me!!

I wonder if maybe that's why life keeps throwing me this battle over and over again, but no matter the reason, I have resolved to fight to win, it was not an easy decision and fighting is part of the deal in the battle. 

Some days I really don't feel like it, and it is in those moments I must throw myself again on my Savior and allow my friends to help me keep my head above water. I want my life to be a living example that there is always hope.

Even if you suffer from depression, you can still have a fairly normal life ( whatever normal is) depression doesn't have to dictate how you treat other people, your life choices or your ability to work and chase your dreams. 



Yes I know it's hard sometimes , but that's why they call it a battle and here's a little secret about life, it's hard sometimes, fighting is a part of our makeup, we are designed to stand, we are designed to run and we are designed to win, the question is, are you ready to put away the excuses and get on with the race?  

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A few days ago I didn't want to be here, Jet had me in a headlock, but now I am so grateful for all the amazing people I learned my battle strategy for Jets attacks because he didn't win. I'm still breathing and life goes on.

I know this thoughts day post is a little late, but like I said at the beginning iv been going through a horrible depression recently and honestly, it nearly took me out....nearly.

I am back now though, stronger and more ready to fight than ever. 

Jet doesn't get to win in my life, not now not ever, but what about you?

Aren't you tired of being pushed around by depression?


Then stand up dear friend, an army is forming to take down Jet and all his evil devices, and if no one else wants the job, I'm happy to be the general. 

Are you in?

If you have any thoughts or comments feel free to get in touch, but for now, I think that's about it. 

I'm more than happy to pray for you if you send me your prayer request or to just listen if that is what you need.

Take care all, no seriously please take care!

Love Hayley
xXx

Move From Moving On To Moving Forward

Posted by Hayley Esther on Monday, April 10, 2023

Moving on and moving forward,

 they are the same thing, right?




Well actually no.

Once you have chosen to see life as seasonal and started chasing fulfilment rather than happiness, the next step toward success is moving on from moving on.


Let me explain.

Moving on gives the impression you’ve buried the past and now you're going to build something new on its grave and pretend it never happened. Moving forward is acknowledging the past, for what it is , learning what you can, and then deciding that it doesn’t define you and your still going to move forward with your dreams and in life because nothing can hold you back. You won’t give anything permission to do so. Good on you!

You can move on from things and still not be over it, but hiding from your feelings is not going to help you. If you bury half-open wounds then poison will fester beneath your scars. You gotta make sure that you’re not running from your yourself. Trust me it’s exhausting and only leads to making laps around the same old mountains over and over again and those scars won’t fully heal. If you build on the grave of a wound such as this,then zombies from the past may grab your heels and pull you down. 

I know it can be hard to face certain things that lurk back there, but you don’t have to do it alone and in the long run, dealing with and owning your stuff will be good for you. Even if you decide that what lurks back there is gone now or too painful and you're not going to give it much thought beyond forgiving all that need it, including yourself, giving it to a higher power and being more aware of the good things in your life and letting time do its work. It’s still important to make the decision and at least let yourself know what you have decided. If you feel the need to reach out to someone, then do it. There is no shame in asking for help, it’s actually really brave and a very loving thing to do for yourself.

Once you have done this, you will be ready to move forward in life and that is awesome on so many levels!

So then let’s get you on to another level with a plan!

Today you get a little bit of homework

Firstly, have a look in your heart and see that you have not buried your past alive, no one wants to get chased by zombies! 

Secondly, write down your dreams, even if they seem completely unrealistically possible. 

Write them down anyway or better yet, why not make a vision board? If you can visually see the goals you're shooting for, then it gives you motivation to actually do the work to get there.Pinterest is perfect for this.

If you're into the idea of self help, then here's a couple of really cool bits and pieces that may also help you move forward, not just move on from where you are right now. I can not recommend the first highly enough! Game changer!

The other two are just useful and nice to have, and it doesn't help that they are super cute! With the third one, those stickers are so adorable, I have so many and use mine all the time, but the idea is that happy planner stickers is what I recommending, they help me stay motivated and I am sure they can help you get stuff done too! Quick reminder the below are affiliate links, I may make a small commission with no extra cost to you if you decide to buy any of the things I recommend. 

The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day
(Again,can not recommend highly enough)

Motivational Gallon Water Bottle  - especially good for helping you to keep on track with your fitness goals.

Paper House Planner, Journal, Dairy, Notebook Assorted Colours - highly recommend journal stickers in general, doesn't have to be these ones but these are adorable and so sweet!


That's about it today.



Got a complaint or a comment? Let me know below and let's all together grow!