Wrapping Up Sort It Out September.

 Hey guys, 

Writing today feels really heavy, because the poem I shared last post felt very vulnerable. 

I hate writing heavy.

Yet, ironically, when I push past that feeling, I often find some of my best work comes out.

I'm getting into the habit of bringing out content on this blog only when its ready. 

If you follow me on social media, you  will know I put out a lot of content over on the various platforms I am on.

This is just a quick one today.

Just to say that I'm moving on from Sort it out September.

The content here will be out when it is ready, but I'm not pushing myself to write when my soul is so in need of repair. 

Its not appropriate right now to go into details. 

I'm just leading by example, and taking some time to let my soul heal before the next series on this blog.

Anyway that's it.

Take care all.

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Sort It Out September - Authentic Faith: Living With A Vexed Soul

Last post, I told you that I am a Christian Universalist. 

My definition of this is believing that any path can lead to Jesus but the only way to the Father is through the Son.

That said, I need to build from here. 

I have to be delicate this post, as I know that people around the world are in grief, and we as a world are in a time of great uncertainty. 

I'm choosing not to comment on the passing of Queen Elizabeth, other then to say I'm not commenting on it but I am trying to write with the greatest of delicacy and respect today. 

Let's just say I know who my audience are, and I don't believe my opinions or comments on recent events will bring anything enlightening. 

If you haven't got anything worth saying then just don't.

I live by that. 

At present, I'm treating my blog more like a ministry than a business, and I'm in one of those moments where what makes sense for ministry would not make sense for business. 

This is the moment we cross over, back to our roots, 

Daisy Change is a ministry blog. 

Glory To God. 

I have other other projects for profit, but given the nature of the people that read my work, the most respectful thing is to let this content be free, my gift to you. 

Can you see the theme of respect that I have been bringing back into my work lately?

I truly believe that being respectful the way one should, is a lost art, and so I'm going to do my best to share how to be respectful regardless of what is happening in the world or indeed your personal world. 

Okay, ground work laid, let's get on with the meat of the post.

Sometimes the best way to support someone going through a hard time is just to put words on what they may be feeling.

Poetry is great for this. 

I hope this poem helps, then directly after it I'll say a few things about the vexed soul to offer a little hope. 

 The Vexed Soul

Secrets are heavy on mind mind, 

I see clearly, but I feel so blind. 

Grief has captured my heart, I don't feel whole.

There's something so heavy within me, I have a vexed soul. 

Battling between light dark, and dark light,

Even breathing right now feels like  a fight! 

I wish tears would stream down my face,

But this isn't the time, nor the place. 

Breaking, but I thought I was already broken.

Aching, my soul bleeds open. 

I don't have the words to fully describe what I feel.

I only hope, in time, with God's help I will heal. 

- Hayley Esther September 13th 2022

Not having the words to speak is the worst feeling in the world.

When our pain surpasses are ability to articulate how we feel, the only thing we can do is be in  the moment. 

It may not be a moment we want to be in but every moment in life has lessons for us if we look and listen, and sometimes the lesson is to simply just be still.

Take it all in. 

Despite how you feel now, it won't be like this forever. 

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Sort It Out September - Authentic Faith: Why I am a Christian Universalist.

 For lack of a better way of putting it, coming out as any denomination other than Christian progressive's, is met with ridicule on all sides these days. 

I attend a denominational Church, but I am in fact a Christian Universalist. I'm about to explain it. 

It used to be we could say what form of Christianity we follow and people were pretty respectful. 

Oh how the world has changed. 

Respect is long gone in so many different arenas across the world. 

Change is my specialty, but even I have to painfully sigh at some of the changes the world has gone through. 

Conventional wisdom would have me add images and links through out this post, but since when have I ever done anything the conventional way. 

Yet my life is on track to where I want it to go. Going against the grain can sometimes be the best  thing we can do, and I'm all for unique and authentic individuals expressing that, but at the core of my being, I still believe the message Jesus Christ gave, the gospel of the kingdom is about love and true light. 

I have to word it that way because I'm very aware of the nature of my audience, I know I have a lot of ex Satanists, witches, masons, secret society members reading this. 

To them I would say Christian universalism would be a fantastic fit for those of you looking to Christ, but not sure which group of people you belong with. 

I would be very cautious with progressive's Christians, if you wanna know where the wolves went, that would be their prime target. Progressive Christians are easy targets, they already align with so much of the worlds way of doing things but we are called to be different and to guard the truth carefully. 

In my honest opinion, progressive Christianity is dangerous, especially if you are hurting  or gullible, but pretty much any other group that aligns with the Christian faith can be a good fit for new believers.

I know, I know, not why you're here. 

I'll get to the point. 

Why I am a Christian Universalist

Ok to start, what Christian Universalism means to me is the idea that anyone from any walk of life can come to Jesus, there is no one path to the son, but there is only one path to the Father through the Son. 

I believe literally anyone can repent and choose to live a Christian life, and yes this includes cult members, Satanists, Witches, Masons and Secret Society members. 

Time is short now, really short. 

Jesus would include these people in the building of His church, and there are plenty of testimonies of people from all walks of life finding Christ. 

I believe that all tribes, tongues and nations should work together to build and protect the kingdom of God. 

We are all called to play a role in the body of Christ, and no one role is greater than another. It's all about building to prepare ourselves to meet our king, but also to protect and help the world we are entrusted to take care of while we live here.

We are warned not to get caught up in doctrinal disputes and disagreements in the faith, in the bible. I'm gonna be honest, I can quote scriptural and verse but I am trying to be sensitive here, if I want my work to be translated in certain nations I have no choice but to reword the word. 

I know for a fact that I have non- English speaking readers, so I try to take that into account when I am writing. 

There are plenty of blogs for English speaking people, but my blog is translatable on purpose because I have an international audience.

Every single reader is precious to me, and in a similar way every Christian, every person in the world is precious to God, that really is what it boils down to be a Christian universalist.

I may not agree with everyone's life choices but I am respectful and truly believe anyone can come to Christ.  

That it is our job to take care of one another the way that Christ instructed His Church.

If we can bring the respect back across the world, it would be a better place and I for one believe the church should be leading the way.

That's it for now. 

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Introducing Sort It Out September.

Hey guys and girls.

I know its been like a year since I have written anything here (though I have been very active on social media) it's been a long time since you have heard from me. 

Last year, as you likely know, I was in the mode of writing poetry more so than articles. 

I believe its important to go with the flow and not fight the content when you're blogging authentically.

I feel like authenticity is something that a lot of people really care about right now which is awesome, because so do I. 

So then, in the name of authenticity, I need to be real with you.

I have been going through a lot this past year, I've now moved out of London, ended a relationship and I've been setting up my life back home in wondaful, wild, Wales. 

Thing is real talk, I could do with some accountability. 

See I've been home for almost 6 months and I'm so far from where I want to be. 

I turn 33 this month, so I've set myself 33 goals to get done by the end of the month.

I don't recommend smashing it too often , like  I'm about to but something stuff just needs to get done no question. 

I also think this will be a great way to reconnect with my amazingly loyal audience. 

Thank you for sticking with me this far, hopefully the content I have planned will serve you well.

That's about it for  today. 

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Letters To Life - Canceling Shocktober because Cap Still Rocks.

Dear life,

It's been a while since I have written to you, but honestly you have been teaching me so many lessons in recent years, I thought it was about time I write to you.

So then, let's skip the small talk and get straight down to it. 

Emotions don't get to speak when my morals have already spoken.

I am a woman of my word. 

I will stand by that for the rest of my life.

 I'm honestly not impressed with the narratives and choices you have presented me with about what my life is suppose to be and how things really work... or maybe I am. 

You will never know, because I was right before, giving up my voice was the best choice I ever made, I was so right it is much better than having it stolen.

Should have stuck to my guns. Lesson learnt.

Also thanks again for reminding me why I spent so many years guarding my heart.

I know in recent months I forgot certain important truths but right on cue, you gave me lemons and woke me up.

I was lost, but now I am found where I fell and just in time for the anniversary of the most important commitment I ever made.

As you know, ten years ago today I got baptised and rededicated my life to Jesus Christ.

This came after stupid teenage drama that I am sorry to say, I was stupid enough to repeat in recent years.

So juvenile and so not the person I want to be.

Who I am most defiantly hates who I have been.

For reasons we both know I no longer give a damn about, I lost myself in wonderland, or maybe I chose to fall down the rabbit hole this time for reasons again, you will never know.

I will tell you this,

I had the best of intentions, but despite that, got completely deluded while chasing ghosts, when I should have been relying whole heartily on the only thing to never let me down.

I'm not stupid enough to state what it is. Everyone has their thing, I can pretty much guarantee this is a secret I will keep forever.

Anyway,

Actions speak louder than words. Fruits reveal our roots.

You will see by the way I choose to live moving forward where I eventually landed after all of your lessons up to this point.

What I will state once again because it remains as true as the day I said it is that Captain America still rocks.

Click here to find out why.

This post was a younger far more naïve me, but even so I stand by the message of this post.

For the past X number of years authenticity has been incredibly important to me, but honestly I intentionally built change in to my blog because the authentic me doesn't want you to see her, but sometimes she does.

Change is my first love.

Only those closest to me know the real me, and honestly that girl doesn't have any attachment to this day, even though she really thought she would.

My faith, if I even have any at this point, is never going to show up in my public work again.

As far as anyone knows, I'm allegedly a Christian but honestly at this point, I could be an atheist, a witch or something else unexpected.

Again you will never know.

I believe what I believe and I choose to keep whatever faith/religion/spirituality I have out of my work, so no more need be said.

Whatever I have or haven't done, its all valid. I have no regrets.

Life you are kind of amazing at teaching unexpected lessons at every turn. Sometimes you can be a little tough, but I am grateful to be where I am.

Its surprising how you do things sometimes, but just a note on something that did happen back in two thousand and eleven. 

That was connected to said baptism because my baptism was a repentance. I was so religious back then.

I only have one statement from that time because I need to make this perfectly clear once and for all.

I dodged a bullet, because you sent me an angel in disguise. 

Bringing this full circle when people get baptised they die with Christ.

Thing is though, death really isn't the end and it's honestly nothing romantic or fun about being dead.

Its the raised out of the water to abundant life that is suppose to be the selling point of baptism.

People can change their minds though.

I was baptised ten years ago today but only I know if I actually meant what I did.

Joy is the lifestyle, not just the love style and beyond that I really don't have anything else to say. 

The past is the past, I can do nothing about it good or bad.

I'm honestly over it.

All of it.

I have people and things in my life that do make me smile, and I rather cherish whatever time I have left in this life, rather than dwell on dead daisies.

Life goes on.

It's time to walk it off. 

Thanks for the lessons life, I'm not sure I ever intend to publicly write to you again, but I guess I should thank you for doing right by me even when I didn't understand it. 

Sometimes your most painful lessons are blessings in disguise and sometimes said blessings are hidden in bitter sweet celebrations, which is what today is for me. 

Even if I am not a woman of faith now, I am glad of the experience and sincerely grateful to be where I am right now.  

Maybe this is just a refusal of the call, only time will tell but honestly I'm content, everything happened exactly as it was suppose to. 

You knew best. I feel like this wasn't my best letter but honestly I need to draw a very clear line here and move on. 

Guess it is true what they say, the truth really does set us free. 

Enough said. 

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Authentic Faith - Shocktober It is then.. (Quick Update)

Hey guys,

I've given this a lot of thought and I know I said in my last post I would likely be back here regularly in September, but to be completely honest I've been working on a top secret month long project and I feel like my focus really should be on that project. 

I've never been a huge fan of Halloween, in fact as a teenager I would actively dress in "normal clothes" on Halloween because that was my protest.  (I was a goth the rest of the year)

With that said, October is a very special month for me and this one more so than most because ten years ago in October I made a life altering decision that I think I'm ready to break my silence on..

For a lack of a better way of putting it, it's time to come out of the broom closet. (It's not what it sounds like you will see)

You see I'm pretty set on the direction of this blog, and indeed the direction of all my projects connected to it. 

The one thing I have to do before I can pull the trigger and go all in with the divine plan that I believe God has given me for this blog, I have to lay the ground work. 

I'm basically done with the pastel thing, this is going to be big change, but honestly I always knew that it could be a possibility I may want to  rebrand over time. 

I guess we are there now. 

Anyway that's about it for now.

Catch you next time! 

xXx 

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