The Running Shoes - Suicide, Depressio & Fighting To Win!

Trigger Warning - Low mood, depression, pain, suicide, past hurts, written about with the intent of encouragement 

Disclaimer - As always I still recommend seeking professional advice as to the first course of action if you are feeling low or depressed. All advice given is from experience only.

Lambi Says - Don't let depression or anxiety beat you up you got this, fight to win!

If you have read my last few posts you will know that as of late I have been suffering from depression. 

Yet again Jet and his friends had me in a cage that was locked from the inside. (Jet is the name I give to depression because when it shows up for me it is usually jet black)

Sometimes life throws things at us that we really don't expect. When this happens we have to decide if we are going to retreat within ourselves or get out there and serve others. 

It can be the hardest thing to push yourself to think of others when you're feeling really low, but it's the very thing we need to do in such times. I have learned some other lessons about Jet and his friends that I want to share with you.

1. Jet's best friend is a doubt. 

Depression and doubt go hand in hand and together with fear, they tie you up and paralyze you, so they can throw more rubbish at you and make you think you are unable to fight back.

2. Depression lies. 

When depression hits, the voices start. Those voices that say you're worthless or that life isn't worth living, it's pretty common knowledge that depression can lead to bouts of feeling suicidal, but what's lesser known is depression lies to us in other ways too.

Depression can twist things in your mind, nothing is ever what it seems with depression, because you have a black veil over your eyes and unable to see clearly. 

I know from experience, I have done some pretty stupid things when listening to the voice of Jet and his friends. We can't blame all our stupid decisions on depression, but you best believe that depression can contribute to making things worse if you don't take care over what you say and do.

3. Depression loves drama.

It's not uncommon to think that things are far worse than they actually are, just because you are depressed, but also it's not uncommon to fill in blanks with things that are not really there. There is a tendency to overthink things when you're depressed, purely because you suddenly have the time to do so because your mind is not actively thinking about other things.

4. Life doesn't care that you did something because you were depressed, you will have to deal with the consequences anyway because that's just a part of life.

 It can be painful, especially if you know that depression was the reason actions such as rejecting people, lashing out or just disappearing from the world for a while actually happened and you now have to deal with the consequences of something you did when you were not feeling yourself.

5. Depression is selfish.

It seems to be concerned with your pain but really it seeks only to give you more of the same. I know this one may get a little bit of lash back and that's fine. I understand that depression can be a chemical/hormonal issue, but it doesn't change the fact that if you let it, depression will tell you what to do.

These are 5 lessons I've learnt from my last visit from Jet.

 I'm sharing them because although many people experience different things even when battling the same issues, at least one of those lines I've just written may make you think of something in your own life.

I'm trying to make a point here, we can justify it and rationalize it all we like, don't get me wrong I am on the side of those fighting to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

I know the pain of depression all too well, but the fact is, depression doesn't care about us, and its high time we fight back!

You see guys, there is hope. When you're depressed you don't think there is, but as I have stated before, sometimes hope is hidden. 

We can't see the beauty of a brand new day when we are too busy hiding under the sheets just wanting to give up on everything. 

Have you noticed that covering your head, be it by a blanket, your hands or something else, is the go-to position when you feel really low?

Depression loves the dark.

 Don't feed it.

Depression loves you to suffer. 

So take care of yourself.

Depression seeks to take you down.

 So take it down first. 

Fight to win!! 

You can, you think that you're too weak, but you are much stronger than you think and that pain you feel right now, is only a reminder that you are alive, you can make it.

Get up, it's time to start running again.

How?

The number one way to battle depression is to make sure you have the right tools for the job.

Get armed!
 Knowledge is power, but only if you apply it. 

Get the right tools for the job. 

Invest in yourself.

Know your enemy so you can work out how best to fight and get the right armour for the job because the battle is fierce!

• This includes The right support - family, friends, medical professionals etc..
• The right care tools - for your body, soul and spirit.
• The right lifestyle for you, it's really important to be true to yourself and to allow your creativity, gifts and talents to be released into this world.

To be true to yourself, you must first find yourself.

The journey of self-discovery may take you to some strange places but stick with it because after finding God, finding yourself is the most precious discovery you can ever make and it will help you fight to win when it comes to depression.

Chase fulfilment, but don't forget to let yourself be happy too. 

Make peace with your past, because if you leave anything buried alive it will stink and like a zombie, come chasing you in your present life ready to kill you and taking you kicking and screaming back to the painful places.


I don't know who I am writing this too right now, but don't give up we need you!

You were born to solve a problem only YOU can solve.

You were born with a purpose that goes far beyond this life, you can and will leave a legacy, but if you give up today...then the world loses out and the pain will not end.

Beautiful girl, the sun always shines brightest after the storm. 

Always. 

The Son always shines brightest after the storm.

Dude, you got this.

Stand firm, get those running shoes on and prepare for battle.

I don't know if Jet is ever going to get the message, the harder he and his dark company fight me, the harder I will fight back. The more encouragement, hope and love I will release into this world because I will not let Jet beat me!!

I wonder if maybe that's why life keeps throwing me this battle over and over again, but no matter the reason, I have resolved to fight to win, it was not an easy decision and fighting is part of the deal in the battle. 

Some days I really don't feel like it, and it is in those moments I must throw myself again on my Savior and allow my friends to help me keep my head above water. I want my life to be a living example that there is always hope.

Even if you suffer from depression, you can still have a fairly normal life ( whatever normal is) depression doesn't have to dictate how you treat other people, your life choices or your ability to work and chase your dreams. 



Yes I know it's hard sometimes , but that's why they call it a battle and here's a little secret about life, it's hard sometimes, fighting is a part of our makeup, we are designed to stand, we are designed to run and we are designed to win, the question is, are you ready to put away the excuses and get on with the race?  

A few days ago I didn't want to be here, Jet had me in a headlock, but now I am so grateful for all the amazing people I learned my battle strategy for Jets attacks because he didn't win. I'm still breathing and life goes on.

I know this thoughts day post is a little late, but like I said at the beginning iv been going through a horrible depression recently and honestly, it nearly took me out....nearly.

I am back now though, stronger and more ready to fight than ever. 

Jet doesn't get to win in my life, not now not ever, but what about you?

Aren't you tired of being pushed around by depression?

Then stand up dear friend, an army is forming to take down Jet and all his evil devices, and if no one else wants the job, I'm happy to be the general. 

Are you in?

If you have any thoughts or comments feel free to get in touch, but for now, I think that's about it. 

I'm more than happy to pray for you if you send me your prayer request or to just listen if that is what you need.

Take care all, no seriously please take care!

Love Hayley

xXx

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Navigating Love Across Miles: Valentine's Day in Long-Distance Relationships

Introduction:

In a world that is increasingly interconnected, many find themselves entwined in the delicate dance of long-distance relationships. As Valentine's Day approaches, the challenges of celebrating love across miles become more pronounced. However, distance doesn't diminish the depth of emotions; in fact, it often intensifies the connection between partners.

1. The Power of Digital Intimacy:

Technology has become the lifeline for long-distance couples. Video calls, instant messaging, and virtual dates bridge the physical gap, allowing partners to share moments and create lasting memories despite the miles. This Valentine's Day, consider planning a virtual dinner date or a movie night to recreate the sense of togetherness.

2. Thoughtful Gestures Transcend Distance:

While physical proximity is limited, the power of thoughtful gestures knows no bounds. Sending surprise gifts, handwritten letters, or a care package can convey love and commitment in a tangible way. Consider surprising your partner with a personalized gift that reflects shared memories or inside jokes, showcasing the effort you put into maintaining the connection.

3. Shared Experiences, Separated by Space:

Creating shared experiences is crucial for the growth of any relationship, and this holds true for long-distance couples. Use technology to your advantage by watching the same movie simultaneously, reading the same book, or even cooking the same recipe together. Engaging in shared activities fosters a sense of unity, making distance seem less daunting.

4. Planning Future Reunions:

Valentine's Day can be a perfect time to discuss and plan future reunions. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a more extended visit, having a plan for when you'll be together again can provide a sense of anticipation and give the relationship a goal to look forward to.

5. Emotional Communication:

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and it becomes even more critical in long-distance ones. Expressing your feelings, discussing concerns, and maintaining transparency helps build trust and understanding. This Valentine's Day, take the time to communicate your love and appreciation for each other.

Conclusion:

Long-distance relationships are a testament to the resilience of love in the face of physical separation. Valentine's Day, although challenging, provides an opportunity for couples to strengthen their bond through creative means and thoughtful gestures. By embracing technology, creating shared experiences, and fostering open communication, distance can be overcome, and love can thrive across the miles.

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An Alternative Gospel Message To The Illuminati (Brotherhood of the snake) Part 2.

I've been demonitsed. 

Coinsidence? I think not. 

Thing is my silence can't be bought.

I made it to the top of the system to witness it without taking a single death oath.

So come at me brotherhood if you dare! Anything you do against me just proves your existence to my audience. 

Oh yes and I know about how you like to gas light your victims but that won't work on me. 

Four years ago, giving up my voice was my choice. Today though, you've given me no reason to stay silent. 

There are two camps within the structure of the top. There are those who are evil for evil evils sake and then there's the strategically evil. 

You have your witches, warlocks, priestess, grand dames, mothers of darkness and other such evil for evils sake. 

Then the strategic evil, packaged in a slick suit and armed with a complex plan and a spiderweb of a network that's more confusing then a ball of tangled string. 

This one knows that one but then this one is secretly working against that one while striking deals with a third. Rince repeat but on a corporate, governmental and global scale.

Surely though if you are Brotherhood you already know this. 

The flip side however is a beautiful kingdom that Jesus builds through His followers. 

The deal is if you choose Jesus side, building yourself, projects and His kingdom in this life and eternity in bliss in the next. 

The kingdom of darkness is limited the kingdom of God is unlimited but again, God is pro agency you get to choose your side. 

That's the gist of it. 

Your choice. 

Do you take the window of grace open to you or not? 

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An Alternative Gospel Message To The Illuminati (Brotherhood of the snake)

 I'm assuming that you are brotherhood reading this right now. So I don't need to give you a basic Christian gospel you know it and Lucifer has you fighting against it and if he doesn't you're not high level enough to know about the secrets of the serpent. 

So here's a alternative version of a gospel message for brotherhood, sisterhood and illuminati members.

Ready to be refreshed?  

The kingdom of heaven never came here. They killed the king. So God changes tactics , you stop hearing about the kingdom of heaven after Jesus. 

The gospel of grace becomes the narrative, grace is amazing but it allows for flaws, understanding that is not possible to live only under the kingdom of god. We are citizans of two kingdoms, we live in the world but we are of the kingdom of heaven. Example, taxes. 

God has to have grace because his religion is holy agency. He is so pro free will but also expects us to be made holy through Christ and to try to live up to holy standards

 Grace and holiness are a dance , the ideal mix of the Christ centered life is to lead a holy life knowing God's grace covers us when we fail. 

We recently entered an era where the Grace of God is abused and holiness demonized. Those that try to live holy are told they are not tolerant and the only thing the tolerant won't tolerate is a lack of tolerance of their ungodly ideals.  

At the helm of it all is Freemasonry. Yeah I said it. Oaths or no oaths something's need to be said and others concealed. 

I truly believe Freemasonry has taught all it can and gone as far as it can go. There are truths and lessons in freemasonry that are excellent, can't fault the fact that for hundreds of years it has worked well. 

The problem is when Lucifer is introduced into the mix, you get a less than perfect build. Twisted truths with half lies lead to a path that ends in destruction and death. 

Don't lie to yourself, you're brotherhood you have therefore seen this happen.

The truth is however, humanity doesn't need Lucifer anymore. We can build and achieve far greater light and heights without him.

We can not do without the great architect , in my honest opinion that is God most high. It therefore makes sense to consider the build He has in mind. 

God has things for each of us to build. There's the corporate build of His kingdom advancing here on earth, but there's also the build of the individual person and then the projects they are called to. 

This is the core belief of holy masonry and what my blog is all about. The art of change, transformation and building with God.

We can do this by taking the foundation of the bible and adding case studies of those who built before us. We glean from their lives and the word of God and we build ourselves, our projects and His kingdom here on earth. 

Why? 

Because what God has to offer us is way better than Lucifer's plan ... Lucifer won't keep his word to us but God will. 

You want to know Lucifer's true intention for humanity? ( including the superior) 

Simply put depopulation. 

He comes to kill, steal and destroy but in particular, he plans to kill humanity and rule over demons and angels, he has no intention of sparing even the most loyal of us. He hates human flesh with a passion.

Why? Because we are image bearers of God the great architect, and His airs through Christ Jesus to rule this world. 

You're brotherhood you likely don't care about the scripture references you just want the truth. 

When I was searching for the truth myself I wished someone would write a message like this, so I'm doing this for the truthers out there. 

Those of you hard core enough to have crossed the lines from student of the brotherhood to member, only to find the elites keep all the real secrets for themselves! 

Maybe you are the right bloodline for information but even then , the higher ups keep the secrets to themselves.

Truthfully here's the dirty little secret, those elites don't know everything either. They took the left hand path but to have the full picture you must braid left with right. 

I did just that so I'm saving you the trouble. 

All masons are required to believe in a higher power. I call that higher power God and Lucifer is impersonating him.

So there are two kingdoms. The kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness. 

The kingdom of darkness at the very top is surrounded by a circle of black light. This is called dark enlightenment.

The kingdom of light is encircled by a light of the glory of God most high. 

We don't get to opt out. We all have to choose our side. 

Every human serves a master and if your master is yourself, Lucifer takes that as worship of himself. Hell awaits you. 

'Insert basic biblical narrative of the gospel here'.

 Again, I'm not doing that because I know my audience is thinking on a different level.  

This is a lot to get ones head around so I'm going to leave it there. 

We will talk more about this in a part two. 

Stay savvy,

Hayley Esther

xXx

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Why It's Not Your fault Your Blog Or Business Is Not Successful

This is new. I'm writing this post on my phone. 

Anyway, we are now in January, which for us here at Daisy Change means Japlananery, the time of the year we set aside to plan out the rest of the year. 

Our big theme on Daisy Change this year is moving forward and building with God. Or in our case rebuilding. 

Before we can build however , we need to evaluate where we are right now. Some things are working for us , others are not but I'm not going to stress the stuff that hasn't worked. 

See I know the dirty little secret about marketing and business.  There is no such thing as one size fits all in business and especially not online. You can try a certain strategy and it may work well for you, but that same strategy is going to be all wrong for someone else. 

If you have tried multiple strategies and not found the one that clicks with you, don't worry the right strategy is out there. It just takes time to find it. 

There are ofcourse, things you can do to position yourself for success online but even then there are no guarantees. 

A lot of business advice is opinion based. The truth is there's room to do business your way. It may work it may not, just make sure it's legal. 

Happy searching! 

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A message to my silent fans.

Ok so this isn't the kind of post I usually write but it is a needed one.

See I have decided to sit with the fact that Daisy Change over the years has become more of a ministry then a business, and that's fine.

With that though comes the fact that you the silent readers are looking to connect to God not me. 

You read my posts, maybe like them .but mostly I have to rely on my stats to see what has been going on.

I just wanted to say hello to you and to thank you for reading my work. 

I know that the nature of my work is that people from fringe lifestyles are reading and I know you can't be seen to be reading this so you're doing it in private, maybe with a torch under a blanket. Simply because people just don't talk about the things I do in polite society. 

I think that its time I tell you that it is a honor and a privilege to serve your authentic faith journey. 

The thing is, because I know my content is getting views and I can see that its impacting you even if only in a small way, I've decided to embrace the fact you wish to follow along silently.

I really get it, I have readers that have to keep their identities private because of their work or for their safety. 

Just know I appreciate you. 

With that in mind, I know that pretty pictures work for some blogs but for the kind of content I'm writing its hard to capture the essence of the post in a picture, and anyway they are annoying for people who just want to read the post. We may occasionally post a pretty picture along side the article, but for the most part  because of the nature of the kind of readers I know I have, I'm going to try to not use pictures because I know they are getting in the way. 

Also, since this is a ministry not a business, I think its appropriate to deep dive on some more fringe topics that will likely help you my silent readers. 

I am so honored to have you all here. 

I know my work is also being translated, and thats awesome! 

From the bottom of my heart thank you for your presence. 

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.

Have a great day.

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The Art Of Righteous Risk

 The Art Of Righteous Risk by Hayley Esther 

I temperately retreated to the secret place.

To make sure that for the task ahead I have the grace. 

Now that I am sure that I am destined to fight in this war.

I won't let the enemy make me shrink back.

First move, my knees hit the floor.

It's time to pray.

Got to make sure that I am doing this God's way.

He made me a light,

It is true I am born to fight, but the battle is already won,

By the finished work of Jesus Christ, the risen son.

Nothing will stop me now, it's time to take ground. 

Armor must be put on properly, and doctrine must be sound. 

The enemy will not fight fair and we must keep that in mind. 

The dark kingdom will attack.

So as we advance forward, let us make sure that God's angels have got our back.

We have to be savvy, with eyes on Christ, with eyes on the target.

Face forward, no fear, remember the reason we are standing here. 

This isn't a game.

If we do this the Fathers' way, we will not be put to shame. 

Copyright Hayley Esther 2020

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